


seems a little gender-liquid to me

by radiodurans



Category: Barry (TV 2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Trans, Barry is a trans guy & I'll prove it, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2019-11-01
Packaged: 2021-01-16 10:40:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21269690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/radiodurans/pseuds/radiodurans
Summary: “My name is Barry,” he says. He tries to throw it away like a joke, as though he hasn’t spent hours and hours combing through babynames.net trying to find something perfect.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Barry Berkman is trans because I say so but also I have good arguments I swear. This fic is some of those arguments.

He practices his speech in the mirror a hundred times before he brings the proposition to Fuches. When it happens, they’re sitting by a campfire that Fuches has set up just outside of town. It’s quiet; they can see the stars. Fuches is a dangerous man, but never to him, and that’s always been more than enough. Still, that could change at any moment - more now than any time in his life. He clears his throat for confidence.

“My name is Barry,” he says. He tries to throw it away like a joke, as though he hasn’t spent hours and hours combing through babynames.net trying to find something perfect.

“Barry,” Fuches replies, sounding amused.

"What's wrong with Barry?" says Barry.

"Nothing! Nothing. Jesus, no reason to get defensive. I just thought with that tough-guy attitude of yours that you'd pick something stronger, kid," says Fuches.

"Like what?"

"Well, I dunno. Vinnie or Tony maybe. A tough guy name," says Fuches. He picks up a stick and pushes around the embers of the fire. The light of the flame makes his eyes shine black.

"I'm not Italian," Barry says. He pulls at the grass by his sides; their stems crack when they sever from the ground. Somehow, this is going poorly in all the wrong ways.

"I didn't say you were. But  _ Barry  _ \- don't you think it sounds like a name for a shut-in uncle or something? Not a war hero."

Barry looks up at the sky.  _ This was always going to be hard _ , he tells himself.  _ You were lucky he called you  _ ** _kid_ ** _ for so long. _

"I don't need you to agree with it. I just need someone to pay for my papers," he says.

“How much are they?” asks Fuches. 

Barry sighs. He digs his fingers into the dirt where the roots of the grass had been.

“$200.”

Fuches nods thoughtfully. 

“I have some cash on me right now since my guy did a hit on this drug lord yesterday. I’ll pay for your name, kid.”

“Really?” says Barry. Fuches nods, and throws the stick he was using to prod at the fire into the flame. The fire grows as it eats up the stick. Smoke billows up at the sky; for a moment there is silence. Before Fuches can break the silence, Barry pushes forward with a second proposition.

“I need to become a man, medically, soon. I don’t know how to pay for that either.”

Silence, silence, silence. The most notorious fast-talker in Cincinnati is speechless. Shame pools in Barry’s gut; he shouldn’t have asked. Then, Fuches puts his arm around Barry and ruffles his hair as though they're both ten years younger.

"Shit, kid, you look like you’ve seen a ghost. Don’t worry about it - I’ll pay.”

Barry laughs in shock and elation. “You will!”

“Through thick and thin, you and me,” says Fuches. He ruffles Barry’s hair again. “Boy, girl, whatever.”

“I’ll pay you back. I promise,” says Barry when he catches his breath.

“I know you will,” says Fuches. “I’ve never known a Berkman man who didn’t pay back a debt.” 


	2. Chapter 2

"Listen. Before we go any further, I have something to tell you," Barry says quietly, pushing Sally's hand away from the band of his underwear. Sally's eyes fix on his own with an expression of deep empathy.

"Oh my god. I'm so sorry - I never asked. You weren't raped, were you? I could never forgive myself for throwing myself at someone who was raped," she says. Sally strokes his arm sympathetically.  _ Shit _ , if the confession in question didn't have to do with the state of his plumbing he'd just go along with it to keep her touching him like that.

"No - at least, I don't  _ think _ so. It's just, I don't tell a lot of people, but I'm…. transgender or whatever so not everything... downstairs might be what you're expecting," says Barry, hating every word.

Sally laughs which makes his throat drop into his stomach faster than it did that time in Minneapolis when someone from the mob pulled a knife on him from behind.

"Barry! Is that all? It's 2018. I've  _ totally _ had sex with a trans guy before," she says.

"You  _ have _ ," he says, relieved.

"Of course! Oh my God - do you not usually get a good reaction to that?" and then, without waiting for an answer to  _ that  _ can of worms, "I'm so sorry, Barry."

Her thumb tucks itself into the back of his boxers and gently strokes the curve of his back. 

"It's okay," he replies.

"Can I touch you there?" Her other hand hovers over the front of his briefs again.

"You can do whatever you want," says Barry, feeling dazed by the so much of it all. The hungry gender-beast inside of him is still in her presence, as though it was never there to begin with.

“But what do  _ you  _ want?” she says. Her hand still hesitates. The air is thick with desire and fear.  _ What do you want  _ \- a question he’s never experienced in the bedroom before. Given that he killed a man only hours earlier, it might not even be a question he deserves to answer. Then again, Sally seems to need a sort of selflessness from him tonight; she doesn’t have to know that he doesn’t deserve to take what she’s offering him. It’s more generous tonight for him to be selfish. He leans in for a kiss and bucks into her hand.

“All I want is for you to touch me.”


End file.
